The Fido Factor
Positive Dog Training as a Model for Success in Relationships,
Business, and Self-improvement
by Dog Whisperer Paul Owens

If you really want to achieve success in life, “think dog.” Dogs don't read self-help books or magazine articles, or watch infomercials touting the latest money-back, guaranteed method to attain success. Yet most dogs are very successful getting what they want with the least amount of effort. Although people are occasionally offended when I mention the similarities between training their dog and behavior modification for themselves, the fact is, the same scientific principles apply.

As a professional dog trainer with over 30 years experience, I have found that the secrets of successful dog training apply just as aptly to improving a golf game, getting the kids to pick up after themselves, or getting a spouse off the couch to go dancing. The same step-by-step scientific protocols used to teach a fearful dog to be confident or an aggressive dog to be non-aggressive can be used to enhance our relationships with in-laws, improve our health, get a promotion, realize fantastic wealth and enjoy passionate relationships.

There are two basic methods leading to success. One approach uses force or the threat of force or even abuse to claw to the top. The other approach achieves results but employs positive methods that are safer, less stressful, more fun and more likely to keep everyone motivated to succeed. And we simply feel better about ourselves when we treat dogs and people with kindness rather than force.

Here are five Fido Factors to help you get what you really want out of life. Of course, if you have a dog and employ these factors, you will also end up with a happier, better behaved dog.

Fido Factor # 1: Live In the Moment

Dogs live in the present and don't waste energy feeling guilty or thinking about past transgressions and failures. They are wonderfully economical in their use of energy and, as a result, they pointedly focus on the job at hand. See the ball, chase the ball, return the ball. Translation for humans: see the lawn, mow the lawn, grab a lemonade and enjoy the beauty of your yard. Or in my case: think about writing an article, writing the article, submitting the article for publication. The direct, focused approach is an effective way to be successful.

Fido Factor # 2: Be Specific

“My dog knows how to sit, she's just being stubborn.” I hear this everyday in my classes. But maybe it's not the dog who has the problem. In most cases, the dog simply was never taught to sit in different situations or contexts.

Dogs are contextual learners. If you teach a dog to sit on carpet, it doesn't mean she'll sit on the tile floor in the kitchen when you ask. Different flooring means it's a different context and your dog needs to be taught that “sit” means sit on the tile floor as well as the carpet. It's like meeting someone at a party and then, when you see her two weeks later at the supermarket, not remembering her right away because she is casually dressed and has two children in tow. After meeting this person a few times in different situations or contexts, you can recognize her no matter how she is dressed or who accompanies her.

Success, whether in dog training or in business or relationships, starts with visualizing and feeling contextual goals. Detailed visualization unleashes an emotional connection with your goal. Want ice cream? Well, yes, but that's not very specific. What ice cream brings you the most joy? How about two scoops of cherries jubilee ice cream in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone? Want a relationship? Better be specific as to your partner's ethics, wealth, health, spiritual affiliation, and sense of humor. Remember the Fido Factor aphorism: “You get what you ask for… or forget to ask for.”

Fido Factor # 3: Develop a Step-By-Step Plan with Realistic Goals

After visualizing your goal, now it's simply a matter of formulating and implementing a step-by-step strategy to reach that goal. While it's important to reach for the stars, the steps to the stars have to be realistic. It isn't realistic to expect a rambunctious adolescent Jack Russell terrier to stay put while a squirrel is running by. That would be akin to behavioral reliability at a college level. It's well beyond his abilities. Instead, you have to teach the puppy step-by-step and grade-by-grade to achieve the reliability you are looking for.

Every successful plan builds upon a vision, which is reached by small, incremental successes. Short, focused and frequent sessions are better than spending long hours spinning your wheels. Successful plans call for consistency and persistence, while at the same time allowing for creative flexibility and an occasional tweaking of the process.

Fido Factor # 4: Learn to Relax and Go with the Flow

If you expect your dog to exhibit controlled behavior, it helps to be in control of yourself first. People are surprised that I teach them breathing techniques in my dog training classes and on my DVD, The Dog Whisperer. But once they practice a few relaxation breaths, the results speak for themselves. They are calmer, more focused and training becomes easier for them and their dog.

A person's breathing patterns can actually become signals to a dog, whose senses are much more acute than ours. The short staccato breaths of an angry person can trigger the dog's fight-freeze-or-flight syndrome. The slow rhythmic breathing of a relaxed person can help soothe and quiet an anxious dog. We humans have the same reactions. Ever notice how we give a wide birth to humans or dogs whose body language suggests aggression? Or how comfortable we feel around people who radiate a relaxed, peaceful demeanor? Moods are reflected by one's breath and subconsciously understood by others.

People tend to breathe differently depending on their moods and emotions. For example, we often hold our breath while waiting for something to happen, we have shallow breathing when we are stressed, and we tend to take longer, slower breaths when we are relaxed. As powerful as proper breathing is, it is the last thing most people think about when they come into a dog training class or try to solve one of life's many challenges.

A full breath oxygenates blood and energizes every cell in your body, which also enhances your awareness of what's going on around you. Conscious controlled breathing can also be a powerful tool to help you relax lower stress and improve concentration. With practice, a minute or two of a breathing exercise is all that it takes to relax you—and even the people around you.

If you relax and focus your energy through breathing exercises, people and animals around you will tend to mirror your attitude. You are in control. Your confidence projects a sense of leadership. Coupled with a vision, a step-by-step plan and steadfast resolve, success is assured.

[See "HOW TO PRACTICE THE “EASY BREATH” below]

Fido Factor # 5: Choose Supportive Environments and Attitudes

The environment we choose to place ourselves in directly impacts our success. A dog won't learn how to fetch and retrieve a ball if the park is filled with dozens of other dogs and people running around. There are too many distractions. The best place to begin to teach a dog to fetch is alone in your back yard or in another less distracting environment. Or, better still, join a class where interruptions are controlled and everyone is focused on fetching. All the better if the instructor has brought along his own dog who demonstrates an expertise in fetching.

Just as it is easier to teach a dog to fetch in a fetch-conducive environment, so too it is easier to lose weight with other motivated dieters, stop smoking by keeping company with nonsmokers, and become rich by rubbing elbows with financially successful people.

Attitude is also a key Fido Factor. Dogs respond to leadership. Dogs respond to playfulness. Dogs respond to affection. Dogs follow someone who displays an air of absolute control. When working with aggressive dogs, a professional trainer must exhibit an attitude of confidence that is absolute, even if they are only acting. Leaders in all walks of life act confident to keep morale high, instill motivation and model a sense of purpose.

Success is attained when confidence permeates every atom of one's being Put yourself in an environment where success is likely and mingle with those who have already succeeded and you will resonate with success.

So remember Fido's game plan: live in the moment, be specific about what you want, develop a step-by-step plan, learn to relax, and choose a supportive environment and attitude. These are the tools that positive dog trainers use to set up their clients, both human and canine, for success. And when problems arise, addressing them with unquenchable optimism allows them to simply become opportunities for success. Positive dog trainers have a saying, “Correct the problem, not the dog.” With that attitude, everything becomes a tail-wagging game -and that's the greatest Fido Factor of them all!

HOW TO PRACTICE THE “EASY BREATH”

The ancient body-mind system of yoga gives us literally hundreds of breathing methods. This particular one uses nostril breathing.

Three things are required for the “easy breath”:

1. The breath must be relaxed and not be strained
2. The breath must be equally measured during inhalation and exhalation (e.g. three seconds in, three seconds out).
3. There should be no “holds” at the top or bottom of the breath. In other words, make the transitions at top and bottom gentle and continuous.

Ideally, this breathing method is done through the nose with the mouth closed. If you cannot breathe in and out through your nose, don't worry about it. Just do the best you can.

You can do three or four breaths whenever you remember: while driving, watching television, when you wake up and before you go to bed. The more you practice, the better the results. Easy breathing oxygenates your blood and energizes every cell in your body.

As you continue to practice, you'll be able to extend your inhalation and exhalation. This will happen automatically and naturally. Within a few days or weeks you'll be able to comfortably breathe in and out for ten to twenty seconds or more. However, length of time is not of primary importance…increasing your depth of concentration and relaxation is. The length will take care of itself.

How can you sharpen your awareness and improve reaction time? How can you facilitate the learning? How can you reduce stress for yourself and those around you? And how can you improve your health, concentration and creativity? Breathe.

How you feel affects your breath. Fortunately the reverse is also true: your breath affects how you feel AND you ability to perform. Changing your breath pattern changes the way you feel and, therefore, how you respond to others and what you do. Thus, your own breathing patterns can actually affect the way people around you feel and what they may or may not do. Before sports, before a business conference or presentation, before talking to your significant other and before you go to bed, take just a minute or two to focus on your breathing.

The key to relaxation is to listen to yourself breathe. As an experiment, gently close your ears and listen to familiarize yourself with the sound. Then consciously relax your breath more and more. With practice you'll get better and better until you'll eventually be able to relax at will. You, your friends and your family, both dogs and humans, will benefit.